His Despair Is Black
by STRAYDOG92
Summary: Tragedy strikes the Bennetts, and Jack is the one blamed by the person he thought would always be there to believe in him. Despairing, Jack doesn't know where to turn. The other guardians don't understand the hatred he's getting from his once-allies, and worse than that Pitch seems to have returned with his sights on Jack.


The white haired male looked down, crouched on the fence in the epitome of feline grace even though he was nothing of the sort. Kids played in the snow below him, but that was nothing knew. One or two of them probably saw him, too. But these kids were too young to really notice something strange in their environment.

Besides that, Jack wasn't sure if he really wanted to be seen. Contrasted to his usual demeanor, the guardian wasn't smiling. Wasn't laughing. Wasn't giving any sign that he was at all pleased to be in his natural element.

Being a guardian wasn't what he thought.

Of course, he shouldn't have expected all happiness and joy and constant adoration. Humans had problems, and humans needed something to blame for their problems. Sometimes, apparently, that something was him.

Jack Frost didn't control the weather. Not exactly. He couldn't make spring stop coming in March, couldn't stop November from getting chilly. There was a whole world full of things he couldn't control, and sometimes ice was one of them. Just because he could control it, didn't mean he always did.

But that hadn't been good enough for Jamie. It wasn't Jack's fault. It wasn't anyone's fault that his mother had spun out on black ice. Things just…happened. But a dead sister proved to be too much for that explanation to work on. Of course Jamie was upset. And Jack had tried to be there for him. But the only thing that had gotten him was screamed at. And kicked out. Jamie hadn't wanted anything to do with Jack Frost. Not after his sister had been killed because of the guardian's own element.

The snow started coming down harder, and within minutes the kids playing in the yard had been called inside for hot cocoa and hot baths. But that didn't faze the guardian. Still he crouched on his fence, staring at the white ground. Was it his fault? He could control snow and ice, that was true, but at the time of the accident he'd been at the North Pole.

Perhaps the others would understand. They had been guardians much, much longer than Jack had, and surely they had to deal with this kind of thing. Surely they dealt with more than just the children's adoration.

_But they weren't the ones living off of fear._

The sudden, errant thought made Jack sit straight up, and his eyes opened wide. Black shadows crossed his thoughts, and he physically tried to shake them out of his head. Of course not all of the spirits inhabiting the world would live off of love and happiness. But…hell, he didn't even know if Pitch was around anymore. He hadn't heard anything from the fear-being in over six months. Not since the Nightmares had converged on him. Maybe he'd shriveled up and disappeared.

Not like they could die again.

Finally the Frost entity jumped off of his fence and a strong wind caught him, blowing him further up into the air. He didn't need to be here, hiding from his problems. He might not need shelter, warmth, food, or well…anything….but that didn't mean he wanted to sit out in the blizzard. Not today. Not when the snow seemed more his enemy then his creature.

On his winds, it only took Jack Frost minutes to reach the northernmost stretches of the United States. He started to skirt Burgess, only to stop and touch down at the city limits. He should have kept going. Instead the guardian hesitated and looked at the bustle of city life. Most of who he saw were adults, so they paid him no heed. But a few of the children waved at him, pulling on their mothers' skirts in an attempt to make them see the mythical Jack Frost.

Usually, Jack would revel in the attention. Going from completely ignored to only half of the time ignored, Jack jumped at the chance to show off for the people who could see him. But this time was different. This time he found himself wishing that none of them could see him. He wanted to shrink against a wall-wanted to be in the shadows so that none of them would look at him so.

But there was only one boy he truly cared to see.

Not bound by mortal laws, Jack jumped to a fence post, and onto a roof after that. Things like that were easy for him, especially with the wind at his disposal. As long as his trusty staff was clutched in his right hand, the guardian wasn't afraid of anything. He could deal with anything.

Except, apparently, the hatred of one child.

The thought made him sigh and he glared down at the rooftop he was traversing as if it had personally offended him. Here the snow was light, and thankfully his mood didn't worsen the slight flurry into a blizzard.

Before Jack knew it, he was on the very familiar side of town. If he spun around he could find the houses of the kids who had been his first true believers, but now he wasn't sure if they were still on his side. They were all Jamie's friends, and Jamie had undoubtedly told them what had happened.

Would they all blame him for the ice he hadn't been able to control?

From the roof he was on, Jack hopped down to a fence and then to the white covered ground. His feet left no prints in the blanketing snow, and he had stopped trying long ago to force them to. No matter how hard he pushed down on the ball or heel of his foot, he would never leave tracks.

Sometimes, it depressed him to know he was divided from the living in such a simple way.

Jack pushed the thoughts of no footprints away as he approached Jamie's house, not exactly looking forward to seeing the boy again. But he doesn't want Jamie to be mad at him anymore. He wants to comfort Jamie in his grief, not be yelled at for what he couldn't have known about.

The first floor of the house was empty, and Jack watched for a bit. Usually, he wasn't here for long before Sophie found him and started squealing happily. At that thought, Jack's insides twisted and he bit his lower lip, feeling the cold pain that brought. Never again would Sophie run to the door and demand to be let out or start fiddling with the knob herself.

Jamie might have been his first believer, but Jack always had a particular soft spot for amusing his little sister. But then, he wasn't the only guardian. The feeling inside of him only worsened as he thought of Bunnymund. The rabbit-guardian had always managed to hedge in a question about the little girl whenever he and Jack crossed paths.

What was Jack supposed to tell him now?

Yet another thing he pushed to the back of his mind, the guardian crouched and then made the easy leap to Jamie's window. He could do it with his eyes closed; he could get anywhere in this town with his eyes closed.

Making no sound as he alighted, Jack balanced on the edge of the windowsill and looked inside at the young boy's room. It hadn't changed much over the past few months, but Jamie had developed a new love of dinosaurs that he tried to constantly share with the world. Jack of course being the east target of all the talks of his obsession. Now Jack ached for that easy conversation instead of the screaming he was sure to come.

For minutes on end, Jack sat there. He didn't do a thing, only watched the empty bedroom. Jamie wasn't there, but Jack had seen the cars both in the driveway. He figured the family was home, and that perhaps Jamie was with his parents in their room or one of the other upstairs areas.

Everything inside of Jack seemed to be on end, and he closed his eyes to let out a soft sigh. Why had things gone so wrong? Things were supposed to be good now. He was a guardian. He was _believed in._ In all of his dreams, things had only gone up for him. More people started to believe in him, and he was as much of a household name as Bunny or North.

Jamie's little sister dying after their car being broadsided by a truck hadn't fit anywhere in those plans.

Finally the door opened and Jack stiffened as his eyes roved the now youngest Bennett's form. He wore a black suit and what seemed like now-permanent tear tracks on his pale face. He looked much too old in that suit, and much too solemn. But Jack just sat there, not offering a word as Jamie walked around the room and opened drawers as if searching for something.

Finally, Jack was the one who spoke. "Jamie…" he trailed off, eyes closed. "Jamie, please. I'm sorry. But you know it wasn't my fault. I can't be everywhere at once, and I can't control everything." His eyes opened and he watched Jamie studiously dig in the drawers.

That only made Jack frown, and he shifted. "Come on, Jamie. Ignoring me isn't going to change anything. It isn't going to-" He broke off. Jamie wouldn't be thrilled to hear _isn't going to bring Sophie back,_ He was sure of that. So he didn't say it.

Jack sighed again and his eyes narrowed a bit. "Look, you can yell at me, okay? If it makes you feel better, I don't mind if you-"

"-Mom, I can't find my black tie!" Jamie's voice was hoarse from crying and he stood straight, looking toward the open door. "Have you seen it?"

"You threw it in the bedside dresser after the formal church dinner," Jack informed him absently.

But Jamie didn't move anywhere near the bedside dresser. He only looked up expectantly toward the bedroom door still, expecting an answer from his mother.

A sudden chill went down Jack's spine, and he jumped into the room, staff clutched in his right hand. "Jamie? Stop ignoring me." He strode through the room, blocking Jamie's view of the door. Or he would've been. Instead Jamie's eyes never left their spot, and Jack shook a hand in front of the kid's face. "Jamie!" Now panic laced the guardian's voice and he frantically waved his staff at Jamie. "Please, please just look at me-" Instinctively he stumbled to the side when the door opened wider and Jamie's mom walked into the room.

The guardian took a few steps back, watching their exchange but hearing nothing. This couldn't be happening. There was no way-Jamie was just ignoring him because he was upset. That was the obvious explanation. Once he wasn't as upset-

Long arms suddenly wrapped around Jack's shoulders and he was drown back into someone's embrace. Tendrils of darkness danced at the edges of his vision, but Jack didn't move; not even when those tendrils wrapped around his wrists and licked at his ankles.

"He doesn't see you, Jack." The voice whispering in his ear was just as dark as those flickering wisps, and it was ten times more deadly than any noose. "He doesn't believe in you anymore, because he refuses to believe in the one who couldn't even save his sister-"

Jack Frost let out a soft whimper. Not a word, just a sound of protest as he still watched Jamie converse with his mother over something as mundane as _ties._ The arms around him tightened, pulling him back toward the window.

"N-no-" the guardian shook his head, but was only met with a soft shushing in his ear.

"Shh, shh. Don't make a scene. He can't see you, nor hear you. There's no reason to waste your tantrum on him. But that's all right, Jack. Because I'm here. I've got you."

Jack frost screamed.


End file.
